Giving Yourself Permission to Grieve When You Have Bipolar
When you have bipolar disorder how do you give yourself permission to grieve without totally losing it?
This is the dilemma I'm faced with now. I don't want to cry because I'm worried that my bipolar will kick in and I'll be in a long depression. I'm hoping that my Lithium will keep me steady, but I'm doubtful.
I'm also faced with the fact that even if I don't cry that I'll enter into a deep depression. I feel like I'm damned if I do or damned if I don't.
I wish that I was not going through all this, dealing with the grief and loss and dealing with the legal ramifications of his creditors and the money that he left behind. We have to get an attorney and that's difficult on us financially right now. I keep feeling like this is all a bad dream and one day I'm going to wake up, but I know my father's dead and that's an impossibility.
So, right now I have to deal with me. Do I call my psychiatrist and have my meds increased? I think that's the safest bet. I just don't want to deal with the tiredness that goes along with increasing my meds, but this is where I am and I need to deal with it.
This is the dilemma I'm faced with now. I don't want to cry because I'm worried that my bipolar will kick in and I'll be in a long depression. I'm hoping that my Lithium will keep me steady, but I'm doubtful.
I'm also faced with the fact that even if I don't cry that I'll enter into a deep depression. I feel like I'm damned if I do or damned if I don't.
I wish that I was not going through all this, dealing with the grief and loss and dealing with the legal ramifications of his creditors and the money that he left behind. We have to get an attorney and that's difficult on us financially right now. I keep feeling like this is all a bad dream and one day I'm going to wake up, but I know my father's dead and that's an impossibility.
So, right now I have to deal with me. Do I call my psychiatrist and have my meds increased? I think that's the safest bet. I just don't want to deal with the tiredness that goes along with increasing my meds, but this is where I am and I need to deal with it.
About the Author: Cristina C. Fender, 34, is rapidly becoming an expert on Bipolar Disorder. She has been researching Bipolar Disorder and blogging about her own experiences for several years. At age 21 she was diagnosed with depression and saw psychiatrists for over ten years before she was correctly diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder I. Her vision for writing at Raw Writing for the Real World of Bipolar is to inform and educate the public about mental illness. Feel free to Email Cristina a comment or a question.Click here to Subscribe in a Reader.
© 2009 Cristina C. Fender
