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I've climbed mountains and walked through valleys in my lifetime. Some days are good, some days are bad. Faith in my own strength keeps me going and the love of my family. I welcome you to my journey.

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Bankrupt

During manic times, a bipolar tends to shop a lot. Shopping includes getting things you have little use for, but you feel you absolutely need it. Mania makes you crave a lot of things, but for me it was mostly shopping.

I bought things that I don't even remember buying. Most of the things that I bought I no longer even have. We purge our house every six months or so of things that we no longer need. The only thing that I can remember buying during one of my buying sprees are, ironically enough, my Buddha statues. All the clothing that I bought has long since been discarded.

I got high when I bought things. It would make me manically happy. I would sigh with satisfaction when I brought my shopping bags inside my house. I giddily put them away in their respective places.

Then the high would dissipate and it would be time to shop again. I shopped and shopped until I shopped myself into bankruptcy. I owed thousands of dollars and I didn't know what I had bought. I filed for bankruptcy after I learned I had Bipolar Disorder. It was a devastating blow.

Now I shop cautiously. I ask myself if I really need the item. I have a budget in mind before I shop. It's been a long road to get to where I am. If I had known sooner that my shopping was out of control due to my Bipolar Disorder I would've gotten help sooner. But, I didn't. Such is life.

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5 Comments:

  1. Laura Mae said...
     

    I can totally relate to this. After beating up on myself after sprees, here's what's worked for me for the past 3 years or so. During all times (not just manic) I try to not buy things the very day I decide I can't live without it. I have to wait at least one day. But even with this, I usually will end up once a year or so getting my spending completely out of control. Here's what I do the rest of the time. I'm beyond frugal. I watch my money completely obsessively. And can save, usually. This way by the time the unavoidable spree comes, I really do have $800 or so in savings to cover the economic damage I do. But that doesn't mean everything is perfect. I wish people would stop me or just take my wallet once they notice I've bought a new iPod and DVD player and am now surfing HP's website for a new computer. That's where I need to communicate better to my loved ones to watch out for this and help me.

  2. Laura said...
     

    I am ashamed to admit that I went bankrupt, not once but twice.

  3. Psych Client said...
     

    Oh me too with the shopping! For me it was the little things at CVS, Walgreens or little strip malls but boy does it add up!

    Since my major depressive cycle I haven't had the urge to shop.

    Now its my weight gain with Seroquel that I'm dealing with...can't shop that away unfortunately :(

  4. Marsha said...
     

    My pdoc actually makes me return some of the stuff I buy. lol. I am a shopping queen.

    btw, I look forward to writing for you =)

    Marsha

  5. Cristina C. Fender said...
     

    When I found out I had bipolar I handed my husband the checkbook and the credit cards. It worked. I didn't go shopping anymore without permission. My therapist finally got me to give myself permission to use the cards and the checkbook. Now I give myself a budget and I count how much everything will cost before I buy it. I try to remember that we have a monthly budget and if I don't stick to it then I will make everyone suffer.

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