My Dad and His Tumors.
This week my father told me that he has tumors on his kidneys, his gallbladder and his pancreas. I immediately went to bed and stayed there for a day. I tried not to think about it, but how do I ignore my father's mortality? It's coming. Now or later---it's coming.
I just looked it up on the internet to see what it might be. I put his symptoms in Google and out popped Pancreatic Cancer and 80% of patients will die within one year of having cancer.
Now I'm freaking out. I call my father to find out more details. Apparently he got the orders from the Veteran Affairs office stating that he is to look for an oncologist that will work with them. WTF? They already want him to see an oncologist? Now I'm really freaking out.
My dad is my best friend, except for my husband. I couldn't bear to lose him. How am I going to survive all this? All I can think of is that I have to be strong for him. Whenever I'm near him I'll be strong. But when I'm on here---it's okay if I wimp out now and again, isn't it?
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I just looked it up on the internet to see what it might be. I put his symptoms in Google and out popped Pancreatic Cancer and 80% of patients will die within one year of having cancer.
Now I'm freaking out. I call my father to find out more details. Apparently he got the orders from the Veteran Affairs office stating that he is to look for an oncologist that will work with them. WTF? They already want him to see an oncologist? Now I'm really freaking out.
My dad is my best friend, except for my husband. I couldn't bear to lose him. How am I going to survive all this? All I can think of is that I have to be strong for him. Whenever I'm near him I'll be strong. But when I'm on here---it's okay if I wimp out now and again, isn't it?
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Ah, my friend. This is the toughest challenge that we each face. How do we survive in the face of losing our beloved parents? My heart reaches for you. I had a scare about six months ago ~ my dad (never ever sick a day in his 73 years) collapsed, and ended up in the hospital for over a week. He's much better, but still somewhat weak, and frail ~ not the strong, robust pillar he once was. Our parents will die before us. It's nature's way. The circle of life. But ... damn! It hurts like hell.
I do have a nursing background, and cancer/chemotherapy was my specialty when I nursed. Metastatic cancer poses a challenge for oncologists to treat. Oncologist is the best professional for your dad right now.
Sorry to read this ... (I do follow you, but silently). If you look in the mirror, you will see your dad, in the lines and curves of your face, in that gleam which sparkles in your eye. In your hands. I'd venture a guess that your dad lives in your children, also. Take comfort in that. And cherish each moment you still have with him in this material realm.
:^)
I am thinking about you. This is one of the hardest roads we have to go down, I think in life...I wish you well :)
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How sad that this too must be faced. You can do this. Just reach out and all the support you need will be there.