Medications or Life?
Don't you ever just want to get off your medication? Sometimes I feel like it just isn't working and I've tried so many combinations. I try and try, but I just can't get it right. I'm tired of trying.
I remember my life before medications and I don't think it was so bad. Maybe I'm just discontented with the way my life is going. It seems like I'm on a road to nowhere and I should be on the road to somewhere.
I wonder if I should just get off my meds. I spend six months out of my year in depression. Of course, this year had extenuating circumstances since I experienced the death of my father.
I remember wanting to have an affair when I was manic. I wouldn't want to do that normally. I wouldn't want to wreck my family. Plus, my anger was out of control. I yelled at my children and I don't want to be that person.
So, I will stay on meds and try to work out a different combination. I think that I need to get off Pristiq and get back on Prozac. It always worked for me. The Pristiq makes me go too high and I can't sleep. I haven't had a decent night's sleep since my father died in late August. I just want to be able to sleep! I want the feeling of exhaustion that I feel every day to ease up. I'm so tired.
I just want to feel better. I'm due for a visit to the psychiatrist. I guess I'll have a good talk with her. Life has to get easier. It just has to.
A girl. Exploring the world of Bipolar Disorder one day at a time. Informing and educating the public about mental illness.
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© 2009 Cristina C. Fender
