Conversations with my 21 year old self
I say this in love: Be honest with yourself and your psychiatrist. When she asks if you hear voices or see things, be honest. Don't worry she'll think that you're crazy. That's the least of your problems. It's better to have a correct diagnosis than to live ten years in pain.
Tell her about your anger issues. Tell her about your road rage. Tell her that you can't keep friends because you get so angry. Tell her how angry you are at the mother who abandoned you and that it makes you keep people at a distance because you don't trust easily.
Tell her about your sexual escapades. Tell her about your drug and alcohol use. Tell her the damage it causes on your soul.
Tell her about your obsessive need for perfection. The dishes have to line up just so or you won't do them. It's a problem that needs to be discussed. It's not just that your parents demanded it of you. You've taken it to another level.
Out of all the things I've told you, this is the most important: Be kind to yourself. Don't be so hard on yourself. All of these things will pass if you get help. Be kind to yourself and get the help you need. Don't be embarrassed to ask for it. You'll find yourself in you.
About the Author: Cristina C. Fender, 34, is rapidly becoming an expert on Bipolar Disorder. She has been researching Bipolar Disorder and blogging about her own experiences for several years. At age 21 she was diagnosed with depression and saw psychiatrists for over ten years before she was correctly diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder I. Her vision for writing at Raw Writing for the Real World of Bipolar is to inform and educate the public about mental illness. Feel free to Email Cristina a comment or a question.Share Your Own Bipolar Story. Click here to Subscribe in a Reader.
© 2009 Cristina C. Fender
