Wishes for the New Year
Today's my dad's birthday. I'm not sure if words are enough to express how I feel. I cried my tears yesterday. I'm finally resolved that he's dead and isn't coming back. I wish I could talk to him today. Instead, I'll talk to his picture and tell him how much he meant to me. I'm also taking a picture of the cake I'm baking and sending it to all my loved ones. I know they'll be thinking of him today, too.
I'm not looking forward to the New Year holiday this year. It's the time of year that my father always spent with us. We'd drink champagne, go out to dinner, and spend time with each other laughing and joking. It always made me happy. Instead, this year we'll still drink champagne and sit and watch the ball drop. I'll make some fried shrimp and we'll let my oldest stay up (if she can) to watch the ball drop with us on TV. It'll still be nice, but I'll miss my father and the way his eyes lit up when he saw his grandchildren. I'll miss his laugh. I'll miss his hugs.
But, I'll get through it. I know that I can do it. I just have to focus on what I do have. The New Year will bring lightness into my life. I just have to get through New Year's.
A girl. Exploring the world of Bipolar Disorder one day at a time. Informing and educating the public about mental illness.
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© 2009 Cristina C. Fender
