Raw Writing for the Real World of Bipolar

I've almost decided not to talk to my doctor about my side effects. For one thing she already knows that I'm going to want to talk to her about changing the med. The last time I saw her she said there were no options left.

I have bipolar and I've decided to accept that fact and all the problems that come with it. I have to decide if these side effects are enough to pull my medication when it's these medications that have finally given me some relief from the bipolar. This is the sanest that I've felt in years. I know it doesn't seem like I'm that sane lately, but I remember well the moment where I stood inside a mental hospital. Even though I decided against treatment at that time, I don't want to be there again.

I do all this for my children. I don't want them to have memories of an insane mother. I'd rather not remember making love to my husband late at night than have them remember me in a bad light.

I think the culprit meds are Geodon and Ambien combined. I just won't take them until after we make love next time. Simple solution, right?